JOURNAL ENTRY: we continue this cat and mouse game in the court system

(forgive me of any redundancy that this entry may contain)

10-2000 - I was introduced to a man named Scott Roeder from Kansas, via mutual friends in the same faith of being Messianic.

Scott tried to teach me about how illegal taxation is in our country, which should have been the first and LAST red flag to pay heed to. He was very charismatic and could talk the fangs off of a viper. At one point, I told him that I just didn't see how the two of us could work out, so told him that I needed some space and time. You see, he was only willing to take jobs that would not take certain taxes out of his payment. This way of life for him would only offer him minimum wage employment, because any employer worth their salt, would have nothing to do with such schemes. Things then cooled down for several months between us, but he would still call and "touch base" with me. He was VERY charismatic and wooing, and he kept speaking about various parallels in our lives that were directed at me to convince me that he was the man for me. Oh, what I would give to go back and relive that time!

3-2001 - I was introduced to another man named Mark from Pennsylvania, via a different mutual friend in the same faith of being Messianic. However, several week later, I was dissuaded from continuing any contact with Mark, due to false allegations launched against him. Being that I was still a new widow, and had just been through an unsettling relationship with Scott, I didn't feel strong enough to contend with the possible antics of another man. So, I severed all communication with Mark immediately. It was later on confirmed that Mark was not at all what he was being accused of, but the damage by the wagging tongues had already reordered future events in my life.

7-2001 - I finally gave in to Scott's wiles and agreed to marry him, though we never did make it to the marriage altar. Hold onto your bonnets for this one, because it's a loo loo! Fidelity to me is very important. So, I asked Scott if he had remained chaste since he divorced his wife. He told me that he had been. However, THREE DAYS AFTER I agreed to being in a committed relationship with Scott and planned to marry him, he confessed that he had been with 3 one-night stands, women who had simply walked into the store where he was working and thought it would be good to have a toss in the hay. Mind you, this took place on three separate occasions, but the bottom line was that he had bold faced lied to me, which is right there at the top of my list of important things to not do. I had gone to 3 different spiritual leaders to have our vows annulled, being in the Messianic faith, this was important to me at that time. All of them said that I needed to forgive Scott and move on, even though my gut was screaming NO! So, I went on with him and made the best of the situation. Even so, Scott would somehow find a way to weasel out of marrying me three different times, the last time of which, I was pregnant. In the three months of him living with me in Illinois, Scott had left and moved back to Kansas over 6 times.

10-2001 I gave Scott his walking papers and told him that we were finished. I gave him ample opportunity to find a good job, but his priority was to hold to his guns about not paying taxes. The final straw came one day, when he criticized me for "having one foot in the Kingdom and the other in the world". His meaning was that I shouldn't be receiving Social Security for my children and should be trusting God. Well, I spat right back at him that he was an even bigger hypocrite than I was, because he was eating the bread that Social Security purchased through me! He offered little in the way of covering even his expenses, let alone the possibility of him having to support a whole family. To think what would have happened to me and my children, if I had listened to him and stopped receiving Social Security. SELFISH JERK!

During my time with Scott, I did share with him about Mark and what had been spoken about him. Scott, of course, said to leave the sleeping dog lie and to not worry about it. In hindsight, I can see where Scott was afraid of losing me to someone better than himself. I was worried though, because I had listened to one person's damning opinion about Mark, but had not even given Mark a chance to defend himself. So, after a few weeks had gone by after giving Scott the boot, I wrote Mark and offered an apology for how I had treated him, also telling him that he did not owe me a response. Within a week, Mark had wrote back and detailed everything about what had taken place, who had been the originator of the lies spoken against him, and why they had an ax to grind.

Once I found out what the truth was and had my own verification of what Mark had told me, we started back up as though nothing had separated us, saving that I was now pregnant with Scott's baby. With Mark having no children of his own, he didn't have a problem with me being pregnant. At the end of February 2002, Mark and I married, LEGALLY! Not that garbage that Scott was trying to pull.

Scott never tried to support me during my pregnancy, but just before she was about to be born, wrote me letter after letter after letter ... stating that he loved me and that he wanted to be with me for the sake of our baby. Even after I told him that I was married, he persisted. This is one of those guys, whose mother never taught him the word NO.

Two months after my daughter was born, Scott filed a petition with the court for custody. Soon after, I made contact with his ex-wife, Lindsey, and was told things that literally made the hairs on the back of my head stand on end. He had told me that he had been pulled over at a previous time for not having a valid license plate on his car, and also explosives in his trunk. She also shared with me that he had tried to commit suicide and was diagnosed as being Bi-Polar and Schizophrenic, but that he refused to take any medication for it. Now it all made sense, why he was in and out of my life so much. Oh, I almost forgot about this part! When he was with me, he spelled out in detail how he had planned to kidnap his son with his first wife, because she wouldn't home school him. Sheesh! Now, he tells me, that he doesn't want my daughter to be home schooled. It scares me that if he gets the courts on his side with this, he will stage something to kidnap her from school.

Anyway, because of Scott's shady acquaintances, his ex-wife was able to get the court to order that all visits between Scott and his first son be supervised. This is my next avenue to take in this battle, because if he gets unsupervised visitations, like he is pushing for, I have no doubt it will be the last time that I ever see my daughter. Scott has militia type connections all over the country, where he could hide her to never be found. We had our county Sheriff obtain a 2" thick file from the FBI in Kansas, which was confiscated during a raid upon Scott's house after his arrest for the license plate fiasco. In this file were detailed plans to make bombs and the schemes for how they were going to be used. I don't know why, but for some stupid reason, our judge doesn't seem to be taking notice of how serious this is, and is allowing Scott to play the game that he will some day be able to have custody of her, as if I would ever let him have her alone.

Our attorney found 2 cases that were handed down last year, which are almost identical to our case. In those cases, the "intruder" was not allowed to interfere in the life of a child born in an intact family, even though the "intruder" was the child's biological father. We wanted to be able to submit those cases in the last hearing, but the judge said he wouldn't allow it, because it was a "Review" and not a "Hearing". UGH! So, we are going to appeal on this ground, along with 2 other issues. The other issues are that the judge granted that the supervised visitations, to be overseen by Children & Youth Services, can take place outside of the CYS building, such as at a restaurant, store, or park. At one point, he wanted Mark to take her to the park to play, while he sat and took video pictures of her! How voyeuristic is that?! Mind you, this was taking place during the time when the court was trying to determine what was in the "best interest of the child", though it has become painfully clear that it's the father's right that are paramount and not the child's.

So, we continue this cat and mouse game in the court system, which has cost us close dearly.

Okay, so I didn't keep this very short at all. It rather turned out to be a mini-novel! If you need any further clarification, please don't hesitate to ask.