My Vulnerability by Susan Archer in June 2009

My Vulnerability
By Susan Wells-Benuska-Archer
June 2009

Copyright © 2009 - 2010 Mark and Susan Archer

Living in Illinois, I had been married for over 18 years to a wonderful man and had 5 beautiful children with him. However, on November 14th of 1999, he was killed in a tractor accident. It felt as though someone had ripped my heart out of its chest, thrown it to the ground, and began to stomp all over it. I was raw with pain and disoriented. In the days after losing Ron, a great sense of anxiousness consistently loomed over me, as though I were a field mouse in an open field, with hungry hawks that were ready to descend at any given moment.

Ron was a friend to everyone, who would give you the shirt off of his back, his skin, too, if he believed that another had need for it. He always believed the best in people, ALWAYS, much to my frustration at times. It took a lot for Ron to lose his consideration of another, always being the one to forgive and forget. There will never be another man like him. He was a great father and awesome husband, who is sorely missed to this day. Ron was THE love of my life, with whom I had full expectations of growing old with. My life, as well as the lives of our children, were forever changed by the completely unforeseen and tragic event in losing Ron.

In the months after losing Ron, my life was turned upside down, which was the catalyst for my vulnerability. In that time of great vulnerability, I wasn’t as clear headed as I needed to be, in order to be able to rightly discern those who wanted to enter my life. I made wrong choices, which have proven to be extremely costly, financially, emotionally and physically.

At the time of Ron’s death, we were Messianic Believers, those who believe in a Messiah, but more in the Judaic way. It was a season in my life, which taught me valuable insights into another from of organized religion. Those lessons have honed me in such as way as nothing else ever could.

I no longer recognize being a Messianic believer, which has brought about freedom into my life that would take pages and pages to share. I still believe in the Creator, but do not believe in organized religion of any kind.

Several months after Ron died, in the early Fall of 2000, some newly found local Messianic friends were traveling down to Missouri for the Feast of Tabernacles. Since I was not of their exact same mindset, with me preferring to be in a more charismatic circle, I traveled to Ottumwa, Iowa for the feast, joining a congregation that named themselves B‘Nai Avraham, where my family had celebrated the previous year‘s Feast of Tabernacles. It was at this time that Hector Castillo told me, “I’m going to my feast to get your husband”. I didn’t think he was serious. However, when he was in Missouri, he spoke of me to one of the attendees, Scott Roeder.


Feasting Wolves
By Scott Diffenderfer

The Fall Feasts are wonderful in many ways. There is the blessing that flows from willing hearts gathering in His Name. There is the fellowship and edifying that are always prevalent. Of course the traditions you are establishing for your family are priceless. I remember our first few "Feasts", they were held in our backyard with our growing family. Not exactly big productions but they were full of joy. That was the very humble beginning of our journey into the Feast of Tabernacles.

A few years ago we joined our friend Daniel Botkin at theSukkot celebration he was hosting... and it was good. Each year we havegrown, both physically and spiritually. Spiritually due to the fact that each year we seem to grow in our walk through increased revelation that is poured our during the Feast. Physically, we grow as our family grows and as others choose to join us during His appointed time. We have met many wonderful people and remained friends with several folks as a result of meeting them at the Feast. I believe the growth in numbers has been a direct result of the growth in remembrance by His people of who they are... Israel. It has been exciting to watch His people gather in increasing numbers. Now our "Tabernacles family" includes several families. We look forward to gathering with these folks each year. Yes indeed, it seems as though His sheep are gathering in increasing numbers every year. This is awesome! What a day in which we live. To actually witness the re-gathering of all of Israel is a blessing. To participate in this re-gathering is truly exciting. Sometimes in our excitement we do not take the time to look circumspectly and take inventory of the condition around us. One of the dangers in gathering a large number of sheep is that it attracts predators. Sheep by nature are fairly defenseless. Not fleet of foot, nor sharp of claw, the sheep are in need of external protection from the wolves. Without proper protection the wolves will devour the sheep. As the amount of gathering sheep increases, so does the number of predators.

But there were also false prophets among the people, even as there will be false teachers among you who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying Y'shua who bought them... and (the false teachers) will receive the wages of unrighteousness, as those who count it pleasure to carouse in the daytime. They are spots and blemishes, carousing in their own deceptions while they feast with you, having eyes full of adultery and that cannot cease from sin, enticing unstable souls. They have a heart trained in covetous practices, and are accursed children (2 Peter 2: 1- 14).

What better time for the wolves to be out prowling than at a designated appointment with His sheep? They can actually plan their attack. Of course, most two legged wolves are clever enough to disguise their prowling. Smiling all the way, they can come across in a variety of methods. Typically they, like any good predator, move up on their prey stealthfully. They certainly do not want to startle the unsuspecting sheep. You probably have seen the techniques. There are two main methods of positioning for the attack. One method is to assume the demeanor of a sheep. Sweet, smiling, gentle, and unassuming are their characteristics. They seem to have a certain glow about them which tricks the sheep into believing they are filled with the fruit of the Spirit. Oh, there is a spirit there all right. Not the Holy Spirit. Little by little they lead the sheep away from the flock. Line upon line their doctrine is introduced, whittling away at the base of the sheep's belief system. Confused, and now shaken, the unsuspecting sheep falls prey to the wolf without a fight. Another, more brash method is to declare a few "truths". This declaration is bold and loud as the wolf proudly takes a stand for "righteousness".Actually it is foolishness not righteousness because there is no peace involved. You may have encountered this type of wolf. He seeks to gather several sheep to his fold realizing that the sheep can be a nice support structure. Words like pagan, uncompromising, truth, separated, and persecuted are very prevalent in his vocabulary. There is a certain zeal to his message but under the surface lies the same foundation. It is a foundation of pride, unfaithfulness, arrogance, self promotion, and demonic influence. These wolves are easier to spot but just as deadly as the previous type. Why bring this subject up? As we prepare to partake of His Feast again this year, it is imperative that we be aware of the present dangers. Because it is a matter of life and death. Just as pedophiles hang out at playgrounds so do wolves congregate at Feast gatherings. Smiling to the shepherd's face they are working their plan behind his back. Seeking to kill and destroy they tear at the very flesh of Y'shua. For they know that once they have shaken the foundation, it is not long before the foundation cracks. Shortly thereafter the faith in the Rock of Ages crumbles from beneath the feet of the Believer. Then there is a wide opening for all sorts of false teachings and distorted viewpoints. Soon the poor sheep is far from home and in great danger. You see, I have learned a few things in hosting a Feast of YHWH. One important lesson is that as "host", I am responsible. The Feasts are Holy convocations not something to be taken lightly. Stepping into the role of "host" for a Feast is indeed stepping onto holy ground. I did not truly understand this before. I only thought of the goodness of proclaiming His Truth and of the Kingdom work of re-gathering His sheep. Now I know better. Thankfully, YHWH has taught me a few lessons. We are all learning and growing in this faith. It is good to know that YHWH is not finished with any of us yet. 

So my friends as you prepare to celebrate His Feast this fall do so joyfully and carefully. There will be wolves in your midst or at least lurking on the edge - you can be assured of that. One thing about these Spiritual wolves - they cannot stand the Light. How to get rid of them is to teach the Word diligently. Instruct those around you in Spirit and Truth keeping your eyes upon our Messiah each moment. Through proper interpretation and application of Torah today we create an environment where the wolves cannot thrive. Just as Y'shua fought off the temptations of satan with the Living Word, you too will be victorious with His wonderful instruction. When you study Torah Y'shua is right there as you are truly studying Him. Y'shua is Torah. Y'shua is YHWH made flesh. He is the Aleph and the Tav. He is our defense! The wolves have no choice but to run off back to their dens of iniquity. There they will devour themselves through slander, gossip, back biting, and in fighting. We pray that no sheep are damaged along the way.

Celebrate indeed. Just be alert for when the Holy things of YHWH are restored satan is not pleased. Let us be good stewards of this restoration. Enjoy the Feast of Tabernacles for it is good! Spend time with your family and friends building relationships that will strengthen you. Come, let us go up to Zion... together!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I had put my name on a Messianic message board, the same one to which Hector had placed his. This was our first point of contact. Hector was an elder for their congregation, whose family treated my family well. Within a week or so, Hector brought his wife and children, along with his brother and his wife and children, to my house for a day of fellowship on a Saturday Sabbath. They brought food and fun to our home and it was all warmly appreciated. Over the next several months, we all grew together, learned together, and simply enjoyed the company of each other.

Scott immediately penned me a letter and asked about my spiritual journey. I took this as a good sign, but it should have been seen as red flag number one. He was seemingly a warm and sincere man, which later proved to be his sheep‘s clothing that was used to pull the wool over the eyes of anyone who would give him an audience. Scott tried to teach me about how illegal taxation is in our country, which should have been the first and LAST red flag to pay heed to. He was very charismatic and could talk the fangs off of a viper. At one point, I told him that I just didn't see how the two of us could work out, so told him that I needed some space and time. You see, he was only willing to take jobs that would not take certain taxes out of his payment. This way of life for him would only offer him minimum wage employment, because any employer worth their salt, would have nothing to do with such schemes. Things then cooled down for several months between us, but he would still call and "touch base" with me once in a while. Again, he was VERY charismatic and wooing, and kept speaking about various parallels in our lives that were directed at me to convince me that he was the man for me. Oh, what I would give to go back and relive that time!

I will admit that I was vulnerable and gullible, because it had only been just under a year since my husband had died. I was of the mindset that ‘all things happen for good‘. I was also feeling as though I might never find anyone so ‘warm and sincere‘, as well as feeling flattered that this man was showing an interest in me. He also didn‘t seem to flinch in getting involved with a woman who had 5 children. Red flag number two? At that time their ages were 15, 14, 11, 9, and 1. My baby was only 3 months old when Ron died. What could have seemed more right? PLENTY! I should have realized that anything that seemed to good to be true, probably is. However, I was greatly desiring a man in my life, not only for me, but also for my maturing sons to have a male mentor in their lives. So, I obtained his e-mail address from the Castillos and wrote him back, sharing with him all about my spiritual journey and etc.

Scott and I corresponded several times per week and even spoke on the phone a time or two. Then, he wanted to meet my children and me, so we set up a neutral meeting place. At the time, I was driving from Tiskilwa, IL down to Ottumwa, IA for our spiritual gatherings. He said he would travel up from Kansas City, KS and meet all of us there. So, we then made plans to meet at B’Nai Avraham.

As I anxiously waited for Scott to arrive, the service had begun, and he was late. Red flag number three? This was not the best first time impression in my opinion! After walking into the service late, he sat a short distance away from where my children and me were sitting. My first impression of him wasn't exactly positive, yet it wasn't totally negative either. More or less it was neutral. I should have seen it as a sign, but I didn't.

After the service, which was wrought with anxiety on my part in meeting someone new, we finally met. Scott was very attentive and seemed to really want to know how I was doing. I allowed that sense of being cared about by someone, to take over the common sense part of my being. I didn’t know enough about him, and he wasn’t willing to disclose much at all about himself. Why didn’t I see this as another red flag. Number four?

In an effort to keep my wits about me, I had already set forth a list of criteria that any man with whom I might consider needed to pass.

1. We needed to have the same spiritual values.
Yes. Or, so I was led to believe.
2. He needed to make enough money to support the family.
No. He came up with many rationalizations as to this or that. All in all, it was a
big pile of BULLSHIT!!!! But, I was vulnerable and gullible and lowered my
standard.
3. There needed to be chemistry between us.
No, not exactly. What I did was reduce my expectations to fit the current
scenario. BAD, BAD, BAD!!!
4. He needed to be chaste and not given to running around since his divorce.
He said he had been chaste! Yet, within three days of us exchanging vows, he
confessed to three affairs that he had, though he never had “sex“. So, he didn‘t
see it as being important to divulge those indiscretions. GRR!!!

There were a couple of other items, but it has been so long that I don't remember them, though I do have our early correspondences to go by, if it ever became necessary. Basically, I told him that I didn't see how we could work out and that we should just maintain a friendship type of relationship. He insisted that I was making a mistake, several times, and continued to pursue me until I put my foot down and ignored him. This all took place from September until February.

For a few months I didn't hear from him and I got on with my life. Then, some crap took place with the group of people that I had been meeting with in Ottumwa, IA, which caused my family and me to leave that group. So, what did fool Sue do? I called him and told him about what had happened, being the wounded victim who needed consoling, wanting someone to talk with who knew the people with whom I was disgruntled with, as well as wanting someone who would be ‘warm and sincere‘. GRRRR!!!! I am not a weak person by any means, but by that point in time I had reached my breaking point of being kicked and wasn't holding strong. He immediately began to woo me and I once again began to rationalize everything, caving in to his enticing ways. I had contacted him at the end of April or the beginning of May, and he was trying to convince me that the Creator wouldn’t have brought two people together, unless He had a way for it to all work out. This was soon to be discovered by me, as being Scott’s mantra. We were making commitments to one another by July. I lost the tally count for red flags.

I say 'commitments', because he had me convinced that marriage is before God and not man. Scott convinced me that God had made marriage lawful, and that man did not need permission with a license by the state to get married. Remember before when I said that we didn't see spiritual matters exactly the same, well, this was one of those areas. Honestly, his position seemed to have some merit, but the system of legal marriage is set up because of jackasses that take advantage of women and children, such as this one. In the 3 months of time he was living with me in Illinois, we each conceded on our positions about what marriage entailed, setting up 3 different wedding dates, but he still had ulterior motives, which would be proven by his actions in canceling all 3 wedding dates. Oh, he prides himself as being his own best lawyer, too. (What is it with this type!?!?) In Scott’s conniving way, he tried to get me to move to Kansas, a common law state, whereupon everything would have become a joint ownership. Illinois did not recognize Common Law Marriage, thank heavens! It would be many months later before I was able to look back and realize how close I came to losing everything!

On July 12th, 2001, Scott came up to visit me in my home, and two days later had exchanged vows and consummated our relationship. The next morning, when perspectives usually change, I KNEW that I had made a mistake, but was still so saturated by religion overall, which was adamantly against divorce, even if the “marriage” was based solely upon consummation, that I was brainwashed easily into Scott’s form of religion. So, I forced myself to make the best of it.

After Scott’s confession of his indiscretions, I sought counsel by respected spiritual leaders of the Messianic religion. However, I was told that even though Scott had directly lied to me about his sexual encounters, he was sleeping with strange women who would walk into the 7-11 where he worked, that I had a responsibility before God to forgive him and make it work. So, I tried, at least for a while.

Once I had resigned myself to being Scott’s mate, I willingly partook of intimate relations with him. However, I made it perfectly clear that I did not want to get pregnant, and had purchased condoms and spermicide. I was still nursing my not quite 2 year old son, who I felt needed the extra time to offset the effects from losing his father, which meant that I did not want to have to wean him. When I would get pregnant, I would get VERY sore nipples and HAVE to wean by the 4th month of pregnancy. However, Scott did not believe in birth control!!! So, he refused to put on a condom or use the spermicide. OH, but he sure did believe in people control, which is what he was doing, sometimes subtlety, sometimes overtly, with me! I should have connected certain dots sooner, which would have helped me to realize that he was watching my monthly cycle and when I was fertile. Scott seemed to have some excuse for not wanting sexual relations outside of the times when I would become pregnant, which was when a woman has a heightened sense of desire. I do believe this was his plan all along, to get me pregnant and produce a child for him, to secure his position permanently in my life. I also believe that he saw my children as being good potentials for his army.

Things were extremely rocky from the start! Scott would not take a job that required him to pay social security and taxes. This was another one of those spiritual issues that we did not see eye-to-eye on. UGH!! Scott would only take part time work that paid cash, which was extremely difficult to find, and paid poorly. This led to MAJOR frustration on my part, because I was basically supporting him with guess what, what Ron and I had built together, as well as . . . SOCIAL SECURITY!!! How the hell does that make ANY sense!! It had even gotten to the point where I wrote three checks for him to change into Money Orders, so that he could pay child support to his ex-wife for his son from that relationship. I should have ran for the hills and realized that this was the biggest red flag of all, but I allowed Scott’s smooth talk to override what I knew was right, what I had been raised to believe by my dad.

In the early days and weeks of Scott’s and my relationship, the tension would build and we would argue, which would have him running back home to Kansas. It was as though there was an unseen umbilical cord attached to Scott from Kansas, with Kansas being his source of life as a placenta. He left and went back to Kansas at least 6 times in a 3 1/2 month period, from July 12th, when he first arrived, to October 22, when I gave him his walking papers. I had HAD enough!! My daddy raised me to be a better person than that, and it was a disgrace to my late husband that I used what he and I had built together, along with what Ron paid into social security, to be supporting a bum and a loser. Especially one who called me a hypocrite for having “one foot in the world and one in the kingdom!”, because I was receiving Social Security for myself and my children.

We tried to reconcile one more time in October, which is when I set up a whole new wedding date, with invitations and the whole nine yards, which he cast off, again, for the third time, and refused to marry me. The bad news was that I became pregnant in the second week of September. He knew it, but continued to be unwilling to be responsible and anchor down. So, he canceled the final date for the wedding. Like I said before, I think it was his plot to lead me along, until I succumbed to his manipulation of moving to Kansas, where I would be his lawful common law wife.

So, there I was, a widow of 2 years with 5 children and pregnant out of wedlock. I was the laughing stock of my community. This man was the cause of me losing the respect of everyone around me. My neighbors, who were willing to give me somewhat of a hand before, then shunned me. My friends who had been like family to me, shunned me as well. I was so angry with myself for the poor choices I had made and what had become of my life.

Now, let me introduce Mark, my current husband of almost 8 years, as of this writing.

Mark and I began communicating around the end of March 2001, upon being introduced by a mutual friend who had met Mark personally at a conference down in Florida. This friend had communicated with Mark many times and felt she knew him well enough, so encouraged the two of us to communicate via online group. This took place after I had told Scott that there was no way the two of us would ever work, before Scott had moved up to live with me in Illinois. Mark was very poetic and romantic, but I was skeptical, due to the aggressive way that Scott had pursued me prior. So, when I asked Ed Nydle, the "Rabbi" of B’Nai Avraham, the congregation in Ottumwa, Iowa, to contact Harry Dombek, the "Rabbi" of the congregation Mark attended, concerning the legitimacy of Mark, there was some conflict of information. Being that I had just shaken off one idiot, Scott, and because I didn't have the resources to verify or deny the allegations against Mark, I dumped him, and didn't communicate with Mark until November 14th of 2001, which later hit me square between the eyes that it was the date that my husband was killed. Not that I didn't realize that it was the date of my husband's death, but that I didn't realize that I had wrote Mark on that same date. STRANGE!

Anyway, I felt bad about how I had cut Mark short, not even allowing him an opportunity to speak for himself. So, after I had washed my hands of Scott, I wrote an apology to Mark for my abrupt action and shared with him what had been said. Even the woman who had introduced the two of us had said that there was no way that she could believe the allegations spoken against Mark were true, but that she understood my vulnerability about not wanting to take on more than I could handle. Mark immediately explained what had happened on his end, which coincided with the same type of garbage that had happened with me at B’nai Avraham and Ed Nydle. It seemed as though Mark and I were the ones on that week's hit list for those two congregations! Both Mark and I were ousted from our congregations within a couple of weeks of each other, but we didn't know this, because of the secrecy that was taking place in that organization. Who KNOWS what was going on and what they adopted for their reasoning! This is when Mark and I came out of organized religion.

Mark began his journey much sooner than I did, but our end goal was that we no longer believed in organized religion or even the Christian Messiah. It was as though a double barbed thorn was being extracted from our lives, due to the deep brainwashing that we had both endured in our circles of people.

Once Mark and I were TOTALLY eye to eye on spiritual matters (#1 prerequisite), we then worked through the list of criteria that I was now holding onto even more tightly, because even then, I sensed my very life, as well as the lives of my children, depended upon it.

#2. He was more than able to support himself and my family (had a well paying job at the same place of employment for almost 18 years, at that point in time).
#3. We had chemistry (ooh lala ).
#4. He got along very well with my children and they with him.
#5. He confessed readily to the women he had been involved with, so I was more assured that he was sincere and honest with me in everything else.

And, it really seemed to be a match made in heaven. He embraced me, my children, and the baby I was expecting. Mark was previously married for 12 years, but he and his ex-wife never conceived any children. The thought of marrying, legally, a woman with children, was appealing to Mark, though I doubt in his wildest dreams it was with a woman with as many children as I had.

On February 26, 2002, Mark and I were married in Princeton, Illinois. I immediately began working toward getting my house prepared for market, so that I could move to PA to be with my new husband. However, time drew on and on, so I did what I could do, then left my house in the hands of local keepers and began my journey in life with Mark. However, that wasn't without heartache, of which Scott was also involved.

Karleen Clausen, another wolf in sheep's clothing, offered to take care of my house and pack up my belongings, so that I could go and be with Mark in PA. However, this friend decided to help herself to almost $15,000 worth of my household goods and tools from the barn, electrician's and mechanic's tools that had been handed down from my father, to Ron, then to my sons. Scott was there with Karleen, helping her to load my things onto my trailer, to be stolen. Where was Scott's Christian honor there?

Seven weeks and two days after leaving Illinois and moving to Pennsylvania, my daughter was born unassisted in water, with Mark being the first one to touch her and hold her. Mark has supported her, loved her, and sacrificed for her from the very beginning, even knowing that she was not his own blood. He is her “Papa“. She is his “Sunshine”. They have been inseparable!

However, the asshole who was her sperm donor, he doesn't even deserve the honor of that title, began custody proceedings and has been fighting us in court ever since. This has been very costly to us, to the current tune of close to $25,000. All the while he has been using his mother’s money to cover his travel expenses. However, it has been worth it to keep Scott from influencing my daughter. Scott has never gotten serious and grown up, so as to become responsible in providing financial support for my daughter. However, there was money enough to give to Operation Rescue, as stated by his own mouth in a newspaper article. What a hypocrite! He would also buy red roses to place on the ground at Tiller’s clinic, as well as spend money for gasoline to travel and stalk George Tiller at his clinic and church, but never gave one dime for my daughter. It is now also revealed that he bought a gun for over $200.

Scott’s and Judge Vanston’s actions took away my daughter's legitimacy by bastardizing her, in not upholding precedent case law protecting the legitimacy of marriage and family. My daughter, being a very shy child, would SCREAM when going to the court ordered visitations. Her potty training would revert after each court ordered visitation. How was this “in her best interest”?

I wish I were more competent in doing web searches for legal matters, because it would be a lot easier! The nutshell version of it is:

A child born into an intact family, has the right to be protected by the State of PA from 3rd party intruders. There have been a couple of cases that set precedence for this matter. In one case, a woman had an affair with a man and became pregnant by that man. She chose to go back to her husband, but didn't divulge to her husband that the baby she was carrying was the other man's. The other man kept pressing her to leave her husband and she kept putting this man off. After a while, the man went to court to petition for his rights as the child's father. The man was denied, on the grounds that the child was born inside of an intact marriage. This case was even more extreme than our case, yet, the judge dismissed it as relevant.

I think it sucks that women are able to abuse the courts and turn the screws on their exes, it really messes things up for honest women who are telling the truth about their situation. I told the court time and time again, that Scott was bad news and should have no contact with my daughter whatsoever. The hell that little girl went through in the visitations, would be enough for almost anyone to pull a trigger on him. I am not exaggerating! She would SCREAM and refuse to get out of the car to go into the building for the visitations. Thankfully, there were only 7, maybe 8, in the past 7 years, or the trauma would have been worse. On the third visitation, Mark AND my son, had to literally peel her from my body, because she didn't want to go to "that building with that man", then SCREAMED the whole time traveling in the car for the 15 minutes it took to get to the building, and kept crying even after arriving. {:*-( Only when she finally realized that it was time to go home, would she stop crying and begin to calm down.

On the 4th visitation, she had built up a wall of indifference to the situation and went to the parking lot of the building where the visitations were taking place at Children & Youth. She wouldn't get out of the car though.

The 5th visitation, Mark was on crutches from being hit by a truck while riding his motorcycle, and Scott and C&Y coaxed my daughter out of the car without Mark, by showing her a pink bear and telling her that there were more toys inside to play with. She relented and they whisked her away, leaving Mark to struggle with locking the car, then kept him from entering the locked room where Scott, Olivia and one of the social workers had the visitation. I was PISSED!!! My red came out that day and I hope it never comes out like that again. I swear I was on the verge of a stroke.

Anyway, all along she has stated that she did not want to be a part of the visitations, but it didn't matter to Scott. It also didn't matter to Scott that maybe it might have been more important to her in the long run, if he were to set up an education fund for her and not blow his mother's money on air fares, rental cars, etc.

This whole past 9 or so years has aged me like nobody's business. At one point, not long after losing Victoria, mine and Mark's 19 week gestation daughter. I literally was knocking on death's door, because I had lost hope in being able to protect my daughter from a madman, and the court was enabling Scott to do exactly what he wanted to do. I still don't understand where the judge was coming from in his decisions. We've even petitioned the PA Supreme Court in getting this resolved, but they refused to hear the case, because of a misstep in the early days of Scott being granted Standing.

I swear, if that SOB gets out, and nobody else shoots him, he had better NEVER set foot near this house!

Copyright © 2009

Thankfully, this chapter of my life is now coming to a close. Scott sealed his fate, not only for himself, but, for our family as well, when he shot and killed Dr. George Tiller in Wichita, KS, on May 31^st, 2009.

The reports and articles that have painted the picture of who Scott Roeder really was, have been more than a little unnerving to me. It haunted me for a long time to know that Scott was living with my family with those thoughts in his head. I also was haunted in realizing that I was the medium through which my friends were introduced to Scott, thus, putting them in harms way by knowing Scott.

Thankfully, this is all behind us, all of us. Judge Wilbert sentenced Scott to 50 years in prison for 1^st degree murder, and 2 more years, to run consecutively, for 2 charges for assault with a deadly weapon. There is no option for parole to be considered before the first 50 years have been served, which means that Scott will be over 100 years old before even the remotest possibly comes to pass for him to be paroled.

The Creator in His great mercy, has granted to me the deliverance I have prayed for, for the past 10 years.

Susan Wells-Benuska-Archer ©